

Nonetheless, and all the more, you must try to work together. I suspect that adversarial, polarized, divisive, exclusionary, competitive ways of working have a tenacious hold on your species. Rather, their role will be only to facilitate the process. This individual will not take a position, favor one party over another, or be concerned about the outcome. Because it is so different from your prevailing norms, it will help to have someone who can steward this method, especially when you are working in groups. Find a teacher, a guide, a person who is expert in this method of communication.(An example of this, which I’m told humans find humorous, is given by Emo Phillips.) In my experience with humans, I have found too often that the few differences among you far overshadow the many things you have in common. It is more important that you clarify and understand the question and why it makes a difference to the person who asked it.įind the commonalities, not just the differences. It is not necessary or even useful that you answer every question. Answering someone’s question assumes you understood it.As it says in your Sayings of the Fathers, “Who is wise? One who learns from every person.” Learn and appreciate the complexity of your world. But that doesn’t make them right or good.

Singular points of view and simple explanations are easy to understand and the solutions they yield are easy to implement. Enrich your understanding by learning from people with different backgrounds and perspectives.Invoke the Talmudic teaching, “Teach your tongue to say ‘I don’t know.’” If you really want to understand something, you can’t believe it. This will enable you to keep an open mind and to continue to learn. Consider that your understanding may still be incorrect or incomplete. Even when you believe you understand someone or something, exercise some doubt.You might try the Vulcan prescription, “My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts,” or perhaps the Spanish proverb, “Every head is a world.”

Not so you can find a flaw in their faith or reasoning, not so you can find a leverage point to change their thinking, but so you can understand and learn from them. Make a conscious effort to understand, not just what they are saying, but where they are coming from, their understanding of the world, and how their ideas all come together to make sense for them.
